He starts in and earns that first laugh. He’s on his way and he feels as good as he can for the moment considering it’s a packed house, a sold-out show on a Labor Day Weekend. It’s the 8:00p Sunday night show, the top show of the weekend at the Hollywood Improv. He’s in the four hole, the prime slot, and just followed a well-known actor from a sitcom on TV who just killed. All eyes are on him now, all expectations pointed directly toward him. It’s his job to bring that laughter out and sustain it for 7 minutes. He’s a comedian. He tells another joke that runs over well with the audience. He just about got everyone in the house to laugh at that one. It was one of his personal favorites. A true story that has happened to him before that he turned into a punchline. A skill much like every other comedian has, turning one of their darkest moments into a piece of gold shining brightly in the audience’s eyes as they laugh uncontrollably at a little bit of their history. He’s got them now, and he can feel it. He’s on his game. The crowd likes him and the feeling is reciprocated, he likes them as well. He’s having fun with it.  

If this were a Twilight Zone episode, this would be the part of the scene where the camera immediately pans to the right, extremely fast and the camera stops on Rod Serling smoking a cigarette, staring into the camera with that bemused smirk on his face, getting ready to tell you that something is amiss and about to go terribly wrong.

“Imagine if you will, a place where time can slow down to non-existent. Where every minute seems like an hour and every second last for an eternity. A place where a 7 minute set for a comedian such as the one we just witnessed on stage can have more ups and downs than the scariest roller coaster in an amusement park. A place where a sea of faces stare blankly awaiting that one perfect line, stuck on the lips of a man poised to reveal his deepest, darkest secrets all for a laugh. Laughter being fuel that drives him forward and eases the pain and discomfort of standing alone in a spotlight in front of hundreds of people awaiting his every move. It’s a game of chess, played out masterfully by a man yearning for approval with laughter or applause and the only thing standing in his way or that can stop him is his arch enemy. Silence. Which is exactly what this man will discover tonight, on his own without pride or prudence. The premise- to get a laugh no matter what it takes, and as long as that light shines on him, it’s his job to keep the show rolling. There is no net, there is no “cut” or second take. He must be on right now at this moment, hundreds of eyes hanging on his every word. Words being the only weapon against the dreaded silence to come. The setting- a stage at a comedy club in Hollywood, California. The place- The Twilight Zone.”

 Cue dramatic music and fade to black...

You see this is how it takes place in the comedians mind. This is the harsh reality that a comedian faces. No matter how well a set is performed, a comedian is always, always looking for re-assurance. If this were a Twilight Zone episode, the first images after Rod’s speech and the commercial break would be the camera panning down on an otherwise unsuspecting neighborhood with birds chirping and kids playing in the street. A typical setting in Nowhere, USA. Images of a childhood played out would run in succession. Images of a kid desperately trying to fit in as he is moved from town to town. Images of him being bullied, picked on and teased. There he is in junior high, making kids laugh before they can laugh at him, his second-hand clothes or his lowly stature. There he is in high school performing in the cafeteria or at a talent show getting his first taste of the spotlight. Then we cut back sharply to the stage where this story began. The kid is all grown up but still exists in the heart of the comedian basking in the spotlight. The stage is his playground now. There’s no time to sit or to even drink. He needs every single second of that 7 minute set. He has scratched and clawed his way up the ranks of comedy clubs throughout LA for this chance. A chance to shine and play before an audience at a club that has seen so many greats pass before him.

He runs through another joke and this time the laughs are not there. A couple of chuckles surfaced on the lips of a few but the majority lost in the moment of his delivery. Time is starting to slow and he is very aware of this. He starts in on another joke but stumbles on the setup and instantly, as he stands there, he can feel a trembling sensation in his left leg. The muscle quivering feeling that coincides with fear. His only hope as his mouth moves on autopilot and the words systematically pour from his lips is that the crowd does not see his leg shaking. He is still on and earning laughs but doubt has now creeped in.

He now has four minds all working at once in his head. One is thinking about the set and what joke is coming up. Another is concerned about time. How much he has done so far? How much he has left and when is that red light gonna come on in the back that signals comedians that they have 2 minutes left to wrap things up? Another mind is watching the faces of crowd, studying their reactions and seeing if they are still on board with him. And yet another is focusing on his delivery and of the last punch line and wondering why it did not go over so well with the audience when it usually garnishes laughter. Those four minds running simultaneously as the clock ticks away.

And then it happens. It’s one of those split-second moments that seems to drag on for eternity... he forgets.

He has blanked out on the middle of his set, so he quickly goes to a line about being a single comedian in LA, a cheap laugh used to buy him time to run through the set list in his mind. Blank. Darkness. Nothing. He can’t remember and now time has slowed down even more. He skips forward to the joke he usually saves to close out his set. A story with some twists and turns that has a wonderful payoff punch at the end. Problem is, he knows that as soon as this joke is finished he will desperately have to try and resurrect the rest of his set to complete the full 7 minutes. This last joke, with set up, flow and delivery can run about one minute and 30 seconds. He still has a least four minutes left in his set. That leaves two minutes and 30 seconds to contend with after he finishes it. Problems is, his nervous energy elevates his speech pattern and he works this bit the fastest he has ever worked it before. He finishes it in under a minute, a record that he did not want to set. The crowd roars at the punchline and he earns some applause as well. A great dose of success that he can almost enjoy, but reality sets it as he realizes that he has not been red-lighted yet, he has no concept of time and at best he still has three minutes of time left. 180 seconds. And he can not remember a single joke.

He stares at the crowd as the seconds slowly tick away. If you want to experience a glimmer of his reality at this moment, take a watch, stand in a room and watch 10 seconds tick away. Now imagine being on stage with hundreds of people watching and waiting for you to say something as 10 more seconds tick away. The first 10 seconds hit this man like a right hook from a heavyweight boxer to the ribs. He actually feels pain in his stomach. The only sound he can muster up is “um” repeatedly into the microphone. He begins to pace back and forth searching for the words that have escaped him entirely. But all he can focus on is the audience in front of him, his mentor hosting the show and watching from the shadows, his teacher who is in tonight’s lineup and his good friend who is waiting in the wings to go up next. This man’s job was to keep the show flowing and running smoothly to set up his friend for a continued run of great comedy. But the train has de-railed and the now deafening silence has shattered his world.

Only twenty seconds have passed, though it feels like forever and some of the crowd began to chuckle feeling as if this is some setup for a joke. A cruel twist of irony being played out- laughter coming out at his darkest moment. The only word he can recall at this time is a word his mentor had taught to him. Honesty. “Always be honest with the crowd and they’ll appreciate everything you give to them.” So he goes for it. He decides to give them the most true, sincere piece of honesty on his mind...

“Have you ever had one of those moments where you feel like you're about to wake up screaming?”

That’s all they needed, and that’s all it takes. There is a thunderous sound, a terrific bundle of noise that erupts. A silence broken, a tension relieved! The wonderful sound of laughter pours out from the audience! It is a welcomed flood of laughter that seemingly quenches the thirst of a man who was withering away in a desert filled nightmare of absent sound.

They are back on his side, but they were there all along, he just didn’t know it. He takes a deep breath. His honesty has paid off. The reality of the situation earned him the brilliant sound of laughter. He gets the red-light and knows that he can walk away at any moment now. He follows up with a quick line - “I am living that moment right now”. More laughs and some applause.

I wish that I could say he bounced right back, completely remembering the rest of his set, but like a Twilight Zone episode, the harsh reality of life is that it’s not always a happy ending. It’s that true fact of nature that makes life bearable, knowing that it isn’t always going to be roses, a silver lining, or a happily ever after. Life is surrounded by punchlines that fail and punchlines that work, the point being to just keep trying and live for that moment of at least doing what you love.

He exits the stage with his last line being “I’ll think I’ll end on that applause. Thank you. Goodnight.” He disappeares off stage as another person tries desperately to fulfill his destiny and continue on his path of hope. He’s not chasing a dream, but living it instead, balanced by a desire to impact people’s lives by giving them a moment of rest through laughter while healing his own pangs, sorrows and heartaches. A 7 minute rescue from problems, struggles, worries and the everyday stress of life, whether they take it or not.

He takes these scary moments of stumbling through a set and builds upon them - restoring his foundation of confidence by knowing that it was just another day at work as he prepares for the next stage, the next set, and the next opportunity to live that dream. He absorbs the feeling of a thick silence during his spotlight and actually embraces the fact that it may happen again. He knows next time, if it does occur, he will at least be equipped with new ammunition and a punch line that can rescue him from a deafening silence. He knows by getting up again he can erase this night- not with set of continuous laughter, but merely by the fact that he didn’t quit, he didn’t give up, and he’s still standing. In fact, the metaphor is entirely in his title: a Stand-up Comedian. That’s what he does. And that’s what I will continue to do. My name is Kyle Jolly. I am a comedian. Thank you. Goodnight.

                I had a sitdown and chat opportunity with Jim an Jay before performance at Hermosa Beach!